Vending Machine

You get a moth ball. PARADICHLOROBENZENE.

I insert a leek into the vending machine.

You get a Miku 39 concert Blu-ray.

I insert 6 Katana into the vending machine.

You get chopped up human flesh.

I put a calulator into the vending machine.

you get a vending machine transformer

I insert a bunny with rabies into the vending machine.

Congradulations, you are now infected with rabies.

I put a zanpatou into the vending machine.

The vending machine acieves Bankai. It is now a Super Vend-o-tron 5000!

I insert a bottle of Coca-Cola into the SV5000.

The bankai shakes its head incrudulously and explodes. You should've known better than to mix caffeine with too much awesome D:

I insert a match into the pile of ashes

It's already burnt out, so you don't get a fire. You get a pile of ashes + a burnt match.

I insert a vending machine on top of the pile.

You get a fish.

I put a block of ice into the vending machine.

You get a blizzard.

I throw a banana into the vending machine.

you get a banana split.

I SHOVE KAKASHI INTO THE MACHINE.
... if that works.

You kakashi is sliced into many tiny pieces.

I stick a purple glow stick into the vending machine.

IT TURNS GREEN

i put a bald person that likes to fight into the machine

The bald man gets a full head of teal hair.

I insert Yaoi into the vending machine.

The vending machine starts to flash in many Yuri scenes.

I insert a wiggly pencil into the vending machine.

the pencil turns to mush...

i put a coin into the vending machine.

You get a penny in return.

I stick a piece of gum in the vending machine.

it gets stuck and nothing comes out.

i put a guitar into the vending machine.

The vending machine takes the guitar and starts playing in perfect tune, and people that walks by would donate money to the vending machine, thus, playing more awesome music.

I slide in a notepad into the vending machine.

it uses orange juice to write hi and slips it back out.

i put ALL ASAINLY FOODS INTO THE MACHINE.

The machine ate all the Asian food. D:

I put a bag of popcorn into the vending machine.

you get genetically modified corn

i put a monkey with no banana into the machine.

You get a banana with no monkey from the vending machine.

I put mail into the vending machine.

you get email
i put a book in the vending machine

you get the best book that was ever written.

i put a pillow into the vending machine.